Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
