is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I need to align my fucking chakras
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
