You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
