i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
