i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
