i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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