trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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