I want to have your abortion
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
someone owes me an orgasm
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
