I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
