You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I did not marry a roomba.
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