That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
