I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
