She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Too much gin, very little bucket
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
