have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
