My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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