When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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