I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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