roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
