3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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