My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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