We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
