NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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