my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
