he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize