"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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