they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
