Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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