Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
