your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
