I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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