You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
should my penis look like a turkey
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
