You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
