I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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