When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
