Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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