I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
