Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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