You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
