I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
