Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
