I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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