I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
