Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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