You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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