we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
