I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
