Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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