Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
