Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
