Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
