I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize