Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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