He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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