I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Send help, water and tortillas.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My life is pants optional.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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