I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Floor bacon is actually really good
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
