so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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