you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
